June 2021 www.womanthismonth.com 48 parenting Ouiam El Hassani tells us seven important things when it comes to parenting. Parenting is a very complex task; if we're not careful, we will become too focused on one aspect and let the others fall by the wayside. Sometimes we get very caught up with the “What do I do when?" or “How do I get my kid to?" and lose sight of the bigger picture. The truth is… there are many things that are more important in shaping our children than the methods and techniques we use to modify their behavior. RELATIONSHIP The relationship that we have with our children is the single biggest influence on them. Our relationship sets an example for how relationships should be throughout the rest of their lives. If we have a healthy relationship based on respect, empathy, and compassion, we have set a standard. They will grow to expect that this is what a relationship looks like and will likely not settle for less. If, however, our relationship is based on control, coercion, and manipulation, well, you see where I'm going with this. In addition to that, our influence comes from a good relationship. Children are more likely to listen to and cooperate with an adult who they are connected to. In other words, if we build trust and open communication when they are small, they will come to us when they are not so small. Our attachment helps wire healthy brains, and our responses set the tone for how they respond to us (they are little mirrors). Here are seven things that are more important than any method you choose: WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN DISCIPLINE?
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