Financial Wellbeing - When your money isn’t really yours

Business consultant Pria Masson writes about money, mindset and the habits that shape financial well-being. With years of experience in finance and a growing interest in human behaviour, she shares practical insights to help readers make more intentional financial choices.

In our ideal worlds, what we earn belongs to us and we can do what you want with it. But, in the real world, this is very rarely true. What we earn, is inevitably shared with those we live with and interact with, whether we realise it or not. Confused? Let me explain.

We seek approval…

Think about the last reasonably large purchase you made. Did you feel the need to pick up the phone and discuss this with some people? I am not talking about permission here; that’s another layer. I mean the casual, “Hey, I’m thinking of buying this – what do you think?” conversation. Why do we do this? Often, it’s about seeking approval, wanting to belong, or simply needing reassurance that someone agrees with our choice.

…but there is nothing independent about it

Now, remember that everyone you talk to has their own money story: their unique money script. So, when they share their opinion, it’s rarely unbiased. Their view is filtered through their own relationship with money. Sometimes they agree with you; sometimes they react strongly against your decision. And when that reaction touches on a core value of yours, the entire purchase decision can become surprisingly emotional.

Now, does that mean your money is yours or not?

We often see our money as an extension of ourselves, and it is. But that also means it interacts with the people in our lives just the way we do. So, the technical answer to ‘Is your money your own?’ could be ‘Yes’, but the practical reality is ‘Not really.’

Our money decisions are deeply intertwined with the money values of those closest to us. If you’re not the one earning, it can feel like control. If you are, you may be the one controlling, not purely out of logic (as we’d like to believe), but because of unspoken money scripts running in the background.

The reality: Money decisions aren’t ‘logical’ or our own

Here’s where it all comes together: logic, as we use it, often justifies our existing money dialogues. There’s far more emotion, feeling, and value attached to money than we care to admit. When we layer that with the same emotions and experiences of others, it becomes clear that the decisions we take are not only ‘ours’ – but they also carry multiple voices from multiple sources guiding them.

Whether you invest in equity or fixed income reflects your risk appetite, which, in turn, reveals how you feel about money and uncertainty. Spending on impulse (and expecting others to understand) stems from the same emotional space. Seeking validation for financial decisions? That, too, often has roots in our past experiences.

Our financial decisions are driven by more emotion than is visible. Same for those around us. Start noticing, make it visible. Then, if you feel the need to, change becomes easier.

Pria Masson writes about money, mindset, and the habits that shape financial well-being. With years of experience in finance and a growing interest in human behaviour, she shares practical insights to help readers make more intentional financial choices.

You can explore more of Pria’s work at:
www.priamasson.com
@coachingwithpria
 

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